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You Win Some, You Lose Some More: How to Embrace Rejection – | Designing a Life Well-Lived

Source: goodhousekeeping.com

Rejection is an inevitable part of life, and it is important to know how to deal with it. We all have the tendency to focus on what we don’t want rather than what we do want. This article will explore the different ways in which rejection can be embraced, and provide some practical tips for living well-lived.

In the you win some, you lose some quotes article, the author talks about how rejection is a natural part of life. She discusses how to embrace rejection and not let it hold you back from achieving your goals.


What’s the worst that might happen? No?

When I’m pretending to be courageous, this sentence ping-pongs about in my mind a lot. Every time I apply for a new job, ask a buddy for a favor, or submit a pitch to a magazine, I think of it.

There are a few life lessons that I keep coming back to. 1. You must ask for what you want. 2. You won’t always receive it. 3. Previous times, you’ll receive it, and all the other humiliating, time-consuming, or painful instances when you weren’t worth it will be forgotten.

As a writer, I’m always exposing my broken heart. That pitch I believed was going to be the Next Big Thing? My editor, on the other hand, did not. That other pitch I believed would make a significant difference in my career?

Nope, that didn’t work. Countless variations of “sadly” emails arrive in my mailbox, and I consider myself fortunate to have gotten a response at all. (It turns out that editors can ghost just as well as guys I’ve dated.) However, after reading this article in the New York Times, I’ve chosen to accept rejection. It’s said to be empowering! It’s filthy! The term “grit” is a popular one.

Source: nbcnews.com

So I established a goal for myself. I intended to get 50 rejections, 50 “unfortunatelys” before my 31st birthday in April. It’s a more sophisticated take on the “aim for the moon” idea. Even if I failed, I reasoned, I’d land among the stars, right?

Failure, it turns out, isn’t pleasant for anybody, but it’s an essential lesson in order to, well, soften the sting of rejection. Whether you like it or not (most probable), rejection will happen to you again and again and again for the rest of your life. It’s nearly spring, and I’ve already written for a new dream magazine, am collaborating with a hotel management firm I’d want to work with, and yes, that editor I love would like to meet for coffee this week.

I’m also failing at a higher rate than I’ve ever experienced. Before I was – whaddya know – rejected, I interviewed for a possible dream job and wrapped my mind around the notion of relocating to New York. I was also dragged about by a guy who loved me, then didn’t, then kinda liked me, then didn’t again, as if he was playing Love You, Love You Not with flower petals and my emotions.

Rejected. The funding for the magazine I told everyone I was going to start writing for was cut. Every day, I get more rejections, and as much as I want to hide under the covers, the benefits of a yes are just too wonderful to pass up.

When you’re rejected, you’re vulnerable in a certain way. It seems to be a personal matter. I don’t like your concept, I’m not interested in you, and you’re not qualified for this position. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you Though, like with most things in life, it isn’t always about you. In my situation, it’s possible that my proposals were rejected because the editor was working on a similar topic or hadn’t had lunch yet.

Is that the only way to improve your rejection skills? Do it once, then twice more. It’s a kind of exposure treatment. The more at ease you are with rejection, the less you will dread it. The more you throw yourself into the deep end, the less likely you are to break your skull open.

All of this rejection discussion reminds me of a recent interview I watched with Maggie Rogers, a singer/witch/magical human being. She’s renowned for her heartfelt lyrics, which she claims has been a lifelong protection mechanism. She recalled telling all of the guys she loved in middle school that she had crushes on them right away. “Because I believed that if he only knew, no one could harm me.” I’m bulletproof if I reveal the whole world my deepest, darkest secrets.”

Bulletproof. That appeals to me. Because for every “sadly” email, there’s always a “try again!” one. Every time a door shuts, you know what occurs. So I’ll keep playing, winning some and losing some. Will you follow suit?

Rejection Exposure Therapy:

  • Remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. Because you were born to be a – whatever it is you want to be, because you want to find love, because is important to you. Fill up the gaps with your own ideas.
  • Pause for a moment. Hearing no so often is tiring and demoralizing. So take care of yourself and believe that you’ll be back in the flow of things when you’re ready.
  • Make a mental note of those you consider to be your Top People. Personal cheerleader buddies, editors who make your words sing, and that college professor who believed in you more than you did. Be grateful for them and rely on them.
  • This Elizabeth Gilbert text should be read many times. “As much as possible, send your work to editors and agencies, show it to your neighbors, plaster it on the walls of bus stations – just don’t sit on it and smother it. At the very least, try. Take a big breath and try again when the powers-that-be return your manuscript (which they will). People often tell me, “I’m not good enough to be published yet.” That’s a possibility. It’s even possible. All I’m saying is, leave it to someone else to decide. Magazines, editors, and agents all hire young people earning $22,000 a year to read heaps of submissions and send you back messages telling you that you aren’t good enough yet: LET THEM DO IT. Don’t rule yourself out ahead of time. That is their responsibility, not yours. Your sole duty is to write your heart out and let fate handle the rest.”


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