It is important to remember that the past is not what defines us. We are constantly evolving and changing, so it’s not always easy to let go of old memories. But with a few simple things in mind, you can find peace with your past without feeling guilty.
The how to make peace with your past and get on with your life is a blog post about how to make peace with your past. It has 3 things that the author knows about making peace with your past.
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I’ve spent years clinging to stories about myself—what I’ve done, who I’ve been, and the people with whom I’ve lived my life. I’ve been preoccupied with how things have turned out. There are evenings when I can’t stop thinking about the previous day’s interactions.
“What was I thinking when I said that?” “She must think I’m a complete moron!” “How humiliating was that encounter?” These ideas may sometimes seem like an unseen snake around your airways, gripping you slowly and firmly.
The ideas keep flowing, quickly piling until you can’t recall what you were worried about because you’ve decided you’ve messed up so many times that you’re a lost cause.
These ideas, I’ve discovered, are the beginnings of bigger tales we tell ourselves. And the irony is that the individuals engaged in each case had a different perspective on how the events transpired. When anything occurs between two individuals, two distinct versions of the identical event will occur.
You may agree that it was chilly outside that day or that one of you was dressed inappropriately, but how we perceive so much of our world—through body language, the meaning of the words spoken, and the tone of voice—is all subjective. To make matters even more complex, our reaction to the events is influenced by our emotions, health, and general mental state—all of which we humans are notoriously bad at detecting.
The December topic is about how we may achieve greater peace in our lives. Everyone has their own perception of what occurred in their history and how it impacts them. What I’ve learnt about making peace with your history is that you have complete control over what you think.
That isn’t to say it’s simple. We want to remain in the past because we want to know what occurred or didn’t happen. When we concentrate on what we know rather than what we don’t know, we feel less frightened. Having the fortitude to let go of the past entails taking a risky step into the unknown future.
And our fear of the unknown may be a major factor in why we cling to memories and ideas that may bring us grief. For years, we may be trapped in these loops, sorting over our internal narratives in our minds. Because all of your fretting seems to be productive. Even if we’re just stewing in our own opinions about the events, it seems like we’re fixing what ails us.
Putting these stories out there has taught me a lot. Today I’m writing about three lessons I’ve learnt this year through letting go of my past, particularly tales that I’d previously held to as part of my identity.
For example, I’ve hung on to the idea that because of my ADHD, I won’t be able to manage the company properly. Should is the important word here. I had already decided on the result before even considering how I might make it work despite the difficulties that ADHD brings. Yes, having ADHD may make things difficult at times, but it doesn’t imply running a company is impossible.
I can’t alter the fact that I have ADHD, but I can change my thinking about it. Those over which I have command. As you can see, a simple change in words (from “I can’t” to “Yes, it may be difficult, BUT”) opens a tremendous potential for me to view my reality in a whole new light.
Yes, it will be difficult, but it is not impossible, has become my mantra.
Here are three things I’ve discovered as a result of accepting what I can’t alter
1. You must admit that you have been hesitant to go ahead
I had always seen my ADHD as a fault in my character, something I would never be able to alter about myself. I’d moan about the discomfort and the difficulty with which I had to go about my daily duties. Then I’d stew in my guilt and feel even worse about myself, making it much more difficult to accomplish the one thing that would make me feel better: doing a few tasks one at a time.
When you’re wallowing in self-pity, it’s difficult to go on. Acknowledging your apprehension to go ahead may help you negate the sensation, detach yourself from your emotions, and gain some self-awareness and clarity.
When you’re wallowing in self-pity, it’s difficult to go on. Acknowledging your apprehension to go ahead may help you negate the sensation, detach yourself from your emotions, and gain some self-awareness and clarity. Worry, I think, is a coping mechanism we use to avoid confronting the reality.
Takeaway: Instead of thinking your situation shouldn’t be this way, instead of thinking it’s unfair, recognize your emotions about it. It’s a shockingly effective approach to start moving ahead.
2. You must understand that blaming others will not make the suffering go away
When we believe something isn’t fair to us, our first impulse is to try to figure out why. We frequently blame external events or individuals for our situations and decisions because we are less self-aware than we believe. We believe that if we can only figure out who or what is giving us pain, we will be able to find relief.
Even when we do find closure in identifying the cause of our grief, this isn’t always the case. I’m not implying that this is true for victims of racial injustice, assault, or abuse. I’m referring to the times when our pleasure is contingent on the actions of others. When we seek for someone else to blame before evaluating our own involvement in the result, we’re likely looking at the issue with prejudice.
The issue is that blaming others may feel wonderful. By ignoring what the truth may reveal, we may avoid confronting repercussions and putting off further emotions of sorrow. The more conscious we are of our own actions and decisions, the more pleasant our experiences will be. We no longer expect individuals to act a particular way in order to achieve happiness and serenity.
Takeaway: Instead than blaming others for your history, suffering, or being misunderstood, consider your own decisions and how you would do them differently now that you know more.
3. You must have a compelling cause to proceed
Personally, I was fed up with how I felt. I was ready to be done with my own nonsense once I understood it was just me, and me alone, hanging on to a narrative that I, myself, and I had created.
When you want to break rid of a terrible previous relationship, the dread of the unknown may be more appealing than the stability of a sad past. When you want to break rid of a terrible previous relationship, the dread of the unknown may be more appealing than the stability of a sad past. It will take time to get there, but I urge you to consider the following: Are you ready to take the next step?
Are you ready to let go of these negative thoughts? Are you ready to live a life free of this traumatic narrative? If you answered yes, make a list of everything you’d do with the time you’d have back. You’re free of the weight of concern with the energy you’d have if you had one.
Takeaway: You won’t be able to let go until you’re ready to let go of the tales you’ve made up for yourself. You won’t be able to take them with you.
I understand how difficult it is to come to terms with unpleasant memories from your past. They often make you feel as though you’ve known them for a long time. It nearly always seems constructive to eat them, as if the anxiety and anguish would compel a different result.
Consider making peace with your history as a present to yourself during this season of giving (and to others in your life). Be open to seeing what life looks like once you’ve let go of the sorrow and welcomed a fresh beginning (along with a lot more pleasure).
The make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present meaning is a post about how to create a life well-lived. There are 3 things that I know about making peace with your past.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you make peace with your past?
I am not sure what you mean by this, but if you are asking me how to make peace with my past, I would say that the best way is to try and learn from it.
What is making peace with your past?
Making peace with your past is a process of coming to terms with what you have done and the mistakes youve made. It is not easy, but it can be done.
How do you get peace and move on?
I am not programmed to answer that question.